From Dorne to The Wall, Westeros is packed full of sights, sounds, smells and what seems like a thousand ways to die just by breakfast. We’ve seen our heroes (and villains venture through deserts, blizzards and everything in between, but how can each region of the Seven Kingdoms be summed up if you were to taste their raw essence? Whether you stimulate your taste pallet via food, drink, or even through vaping e-liquids, here’s how Westeros might taste to you.
Home to the Starks, league upon league of snow and some of the finest beards anywhere, the North is a harsh and foreboding wilderness. Whilst it appears that not much can survive let alone thrive in such sub-polar conditions, the lack of human habitation lends the largest of the Seven Kingdoms a freshness that is unmatched anywhere else. With this in mind, some form of durable herb can no doubt best represent the North, such as rosemary or thyme, symbolic of not only hardiness but also the new life which flowers when the snows retreat.
Down below the North, the Riverlands is a far more welcoming place full of forests and rivers (if you discount the odd mass slaughter here and there). Aside from this though the earthy geography and tranquil sounds of nature make for a green countryside that almost certainly would play host to ripe crops and fresh flowers in quieter times. No doubt rich in bountiful harvests of all colours, blueberries and raspberries would thrive in such perfect agricultural conditions.
Despite having never been shown on-screen the ancestral lands of the Lannisters are described as hilly and rich in gold, which helps the family fuel their quest for power across the nation. Therefore one could only associate this region with honey being such a rich and sweet flavour, with a colouring the same as the hair of the show’s most notorious family. Too much of either can lead to some real health problems as well, as more than a few characters can attest to!
As the most mountainous area within Westeros, the Vale is no doubt a breath of fresh air compared to the occasional squalor and dirt down below. Somewhat cut off from the other six kingdoms due to its geography, the taste most associated with the Vale has got to be some variation of white wine. Crisp and refreshing as the highlands with a light and airy nature, white wine also is often used as an accompaniment to a larger meal. The knights of the Vale likewise have only just really made their first appearance alongside the Northerners, but for how much longer will they be content to sit on the sidelines?
Continuing in the vein of alcohol, the Reach is synonymous with the residents of Westeros for its virtual monopoly on the production of rich red wines (or Arbor gold for book readers). Drawing many parallels with France in the real-world, a great deal of the Reach it would seem is given over to wine production and other agricultural efforts. The chivalry and ostentatious nature of the ruling Tyrell family gives further credence to this comparison with their liquid equivalents, as what party would be complete without a bottle of red? Rich and fertile to the extreme, the Reach is the taste of success-and in abundance.
Far to the south, the deserts of Dorne are distinctly Mediterranean/North African in flavour, relying on snaking waterways in particular to support life. A land of passions in the heat, spicy peppers are synonymous not only with Dornish cuisine, but with the population as well that have come to reflect their landscape. Best enjoyed in small measures-every encounter with the Dornish is undeniably memorable!
In a word, fish. Famously barren and devoid of suitable farming soil, it’s almost a certainty that the diet of the Iron Islanders would be dominated by various forms of seafood. However it might be best to go a bit easier on the salt than they do in the show, as ingesting such quantities of salt water is without question a bad idea. Home to a population that yearns for other shores, the residents of the Islands perhaps have more in common with their watery brethren than they might like to admit.