‘Escape Plan’ movie review

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The plot here sees Sly as Ray Breslin, a man who spends his life getting locked up in various prisons with the express purpose of escaping. He then advises the people who run the prison on how to shore up the holes in their security. When Breslin takes on a new job, he gets more than he bargained for; cut off from the outside contacts he normally relies on, it seems like this might be one prison where he’s in for the long haul. But who set him up, and why?

Arnold Schwarzenegger is a fellow inmate, who latches onto Breslin in the hopes of riding his coattails out of the hellish, dystopian super-prison they find themselves in. Schwarzenegger is far more at ease than Sly; he looks to be having fun being out of politics, and charging around in such silly fare again after all those years in office. Stallone settles for mumbling his way through proceedings, as is his wont, thus it’s Schwarzenegger you’ll be rooting for. Jim Caviezel, meanwhile, makes for a surprisingly effective villain; his calculating warden oozes menace.

On the other hand, it should surprise nobody that Vinnie Jones plays the thuggish head of security, nor that 50 Cent does absolutely zero to enhance his acting credentials as a member of Breslin’s team on the outside. And quite what the great Amy Ryan is doing in this nonsense is beyond our ability to discern. Oh, and Sam Neill is in it. (This review has now given Sam Neill as much attention as the script does.)

The stars may be longer in the tooth these days (they’re both well into their 60s), but thankfully the plot largely involves them using intelligence and ingenuity to solve their problems, rather than unlikely heroics. Well, that is until the last twenty minutes or so, during which time things inevitably descend into arse-kicking and name-taking like in the good old days. Best to give the fans something to cling onto, after all, but for the most part, the duo’s age is not an issue. (Although their one-liners are certainly creakier than they used to be).

Escape Plan has a fun soundtrack, while the direction by Mikael Hafstrom is workmanlike. The early scenes of Breslin breaking out of prisons are perhaps the most entertaining; everyone loves seeing an intricate prison break come together. It plays like an inverted Ocean’s Eleven.

The super-prison by design takes some of the fun out of proceedings, although its depiction as a neon, dystopian sci-fi hell-hole – complete with faceless guards and all the abuse and dehumanisation you’d expect – is effective. The Tomb – as the institution is called – is a memorable setting.

The tone of the film strives to remain fun, but at times it’s difficult to discern quite how self-aware the script is. One exchange, towards the end, sees an obvious twist revealed. “I didn’t see that coming”, deadpans Stallone. “You should have”, comes the equally deadpan reply. It’ll wring laughs, but perhaps not in the way intended. Still, if the script has its naff beats and the plot is high-concept – and it only gets sillier the longer the film goes on – Escape Plan is rarely boring. And, with a few fun turns in the cast, it makes for an entertaining movie, albeit an entirely throwaway one.

Released in UK cinemas on Friday 18 October 2013.