Promising more spoilers than an eternity’s worth of fan forums and doling out more hellos and sweeties than a branch of WHSmith, River Song first popped up in Doctor Who in 2008 and became an integral part of the show during Matt Smith’s first two years in the TARDIS.

With the Who machine cranking up again imminently to begin shooting Series 7, and the possibility of more appearances by Alex Kingston’s redoubtable archaeologist still a lingering likelihood, CultBox counts down River’s top 10 moments songs…

10. Hello, I Love You (Silence in the Library)

The Doctor and Donna are surprised in a deserted library by the arrival of a gang of spacesuited visitors. The leader approaches, a beaming smile visible through the tinted visor of her helmet.

‘Hello sweetie,’ River Song says to her husband-to-be for the first and last times respectively.

9. Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes (Day of the Moon)

Young Melody Pond, homeless and alone on the streets of 20th century New York, stupefies a tramp by regenerating in front of him.

‘I’m dying… but I can fix that,’ she informs the horrified hobo as the energy of the time vortex explodes out of her.

8. Big Red GTO (Let’s Kill Hitler)

Fresh from a reunion in a cornfield with his chums Amy and Rory, the Doctor is almost squashed by a bright red American Pontiac – okay, it’s a Trans-Am, not a GTO – driven by the Pond-Williams’ chum Mels.

‘You said he was funny,’ she quips, setting eyes on the Time Lord she’s destined to kill for the first time. ‘You never said he was hot.’

7. Someone’s Daughter (A Good Man Goes To War)

Cavorting around the Doctor’s cot at Demon’s Run, the saucy prof finally reveals her true identity – protractedly.

‘Tell me who you are!’ snaps Gallifrey’s favourite son. ‘I am telling you,’ his future wife explains, stroking his fingers. ‘Hello,’ he giggles like a schoolboy meeting a supermodel.

6. Berlin, Berlin (Let’s Kill Hitler)

Fresh from apparently snogging the Doctor to death, River ambles around the streets of Berlin, indulging in some flirtatious chatter with a platoon of Nazis.

‘I was on my way to this gay, gypsy, bar mitzvah for the disabled when I suddenly thought, “Gosh, the Third Reich’s a bit rubbish, I think I’ll kill the Fuehrer,”’ she grins at the scandalized SS officers. ‘Who’s with me?’

5. D’Yer Wanna Be a Spaceman? (The Impossible Astronaut / The Wedding of River Song)

Programmed to murder the Doctor from birth, River dons the spooky spacesuit she wore as a little girl and blows him away on the shores of Lake Silencio in the first episode of Series 6. Of course, nobody knows it’s her at the time.

It’s not until the finale – months and months later – that the scene is revisited and we find out for certain who it is pulling the trigger. ‘I can’t stop it,’ River sobs. ‘The suit’s in control.’ Zap!

4. Same Old Brand New You (Let’s Kill Hitler)

Melody Pond regenerates into the River Song we all know and love after being shot in Hitler’s drawing room (not a euphemism).

Shaking out the blonde curls, River checks out her new body and likes what she sees. ‘Oh, it’s all going on down there, isn’t it?’ she coos delightedly.

3. Enjoy the Silence (Day of the Moon)

Surrounded by mouth-free, bony-faced aliens, River goes on a laser-blasting festival and destroys the whole ruddy lot of them with gleeful relish.

‘My old fella didn’t see that, did he?’ she asks Rory when the Silence are reduced to a pile of smoking cadavers. ‘He gets ever so cross.’

2. The Perfect Kiss (Day of the Moon)

At the end of the adventure, the Doctor deposits River back at her prison cell in Stormcage, where they exchange a passionate tongueing that’s as unexpectedly exciting for him as it is heartbreaking for her.

‘There’s a first time for everything,’ the Doctor says bashfully, before running off in the TARDIS. ‘And a last time,’ his one-day wife adds wistfully, knowing they’ll never kiss again.

1. Bye Bye Love (Silence in the Library)

The Doctor’s about to sacrifice himself to save the library, but a smack around the chops from Professor Song leaves him sparko. When he wakes up, she’s sacrificing herself in his place, saying goodbye to a man who doesn’t even know who she is – yet.

‘You’ve got all of that to come,’ she tells him as the tears of eternity start to fall. ‘You and me, time and space … you watch us run.’ Then she plugs herself in and … boom. No more spoilers or sweeties. But, of course, the Doctor saves River, preserving her in the library computer forever. Hooray!

> Buy the Series 5 DVD boxset on Amazon.

> Buy the Series 6 DVD boxset on Amazon.

What’s your favourite River Song moment? Let us know below…