It’s time to follow me down the rabbit-hole of cross-genre fiction as we look at the many characters who are, clearly, secretly Time Lords…
Mary Poppins
So much a Time Lord/Lady that another Time Lord/Lady/oh Lordy, decided to copy her schtick, right down to floating to Earth on an umbrella.
Mary Poppins never had an army of Cybercorpses to ‘step in time!’ and ‘chim-chim-cher-ee!’ at her disposal, but she does have a dimensionally-transcendent carpet bag, a fondness for sulking on a cloud above London, the ability to talk to animals, a propensity to drag ordinary humans on ludicrous adventures, and – much like another Time Lord’s incarnation – carries a whimsical umbrella. Not to mention an ambiguous relationship with companion Bert (whose enterable 3D paintings on the pavement look suspiciously like Time Lord art to us).
And did we mention that bowtie…
All this, and she clearly has some sort of hidden sonic control device that hacks the limbic system of lower-life forms like us humans, causing them to uncontrollably burst into song and dance at her whim.
‘Can’t put me finger on what lies in store. But I fear what’s to happen all happened before,’ says Bert. Timey wimey indeed.
Lovejoy
Out there in the far future, beyond the wilds of the Medusa Cascade and the Braxiatel Cluster, there is a planet whose name has been lost to time. And on that planet a decaying TARDIS has become the tomb for a dead Time Lord.
The Doctor? No! I’m talking about Lovejoy, the antiques dealer who never ever reveals his first name, because doing so would open his tomb and unleash chaos on the Universe and all its valuable Chippendale furniture. Obviously.
Time Lord Lovejoy has fled Gallifrey and set himself up in rural Suffolk as a sexy antiques dealer. The perfect disguise! He knows everything about antiques because he’s travelled throughout history. At one point he even sells a grandfather clock that looks a lot like The Master’s TARDIS from ‘The Deadly Assassin’.
Why can’t he travel back in time to get more antiques when he needs them? His own TARDIS disguised itself as an armoire upon landing and he’s still rooting through his showroom looking for it. That’s why.
Ms. Frizzle
Our Canadian-American readers will be familiar with The Magic School Bus, which saw the tousled Lucille Ball lookalike Ms Frizzle defy permission slips and double Physics to whisk her students away through time, space, and the human cardiovascular system.
She transported her charges in a School Bus that would make the bus-loving Navarinos from ‘Delta and the Bannermen’ envious. Seriously, that thing travelled to so many places, you’d think it was a TARDIS. Because it obviously must have been. It’s just a shame Ms. Frizzle never met Courtney Woods.
More on Page 3…