As we say farewell to My Mad Fat Diary, I feel somehow perfectly satisfied with the story’s conclusion.
It ended exactly as it had to: not with massively overblown tragedy or everything perfect, but just as it should be.
Poor Rae, who’s been through so much, seems not to be coping terribly well with Finn’s betrayal. At least good old Kester cares so much that he’s been sneaking into the office so he can keep being her therapist, even though he doesn’t even work there anymore. That’s what friends are for.
That desperate low point in the bath, set to the kind of Radiohead song I remember being so emotionally meaningful for similar reasons when I was that age, had me worried: never have I been more grateful that an imagining was indeed imaginary. We believe in you, Rae! Go out there and kick Bristol’s bum!
(And how delightful was it seeing Chloe doing her very darnedest to make a dog’s breakfast of Katie’s car – never mind the fact that it was the wrong car, it’s the thought that counts, and Chloe and Rae have the kind of friendship that will survive going to school in different cities. They’ll get together for lunches and many beers at Christmas time, and somewhere in the distant future, will keep on liking each other’s Facebook status updates for years to come. That’s lovely.)
Will Rae and Finn give their romance another go one day? Who knows. A part of me thinks it’s nice for them to end on terms of mutual respect and affection, and leave it then and there; regardless, it’s gratifying to see them talk it out, and dance, and be happy.
Watching Rae on the train to Bristol – her friends off to their own new lives, her mum off to Tunisia – I’m grateful that we’re not led to believe that this is the end of her struggles forever. I have no doubt that she’ll feel overwhelmed at times at Bristol, that she’ll get annoyed at having to blank Katie every time they cross paths on campus, or that sometimes she’ll just feel like she has no idea what she’s doing.
But it cheers me to feel that she’ll be strong, and she’ll do it. Mental illness doesn’t just go away like a bout of stomach flu; sometimes even as it gets better, a new challenge appears and it gets a little bit worse again. And some of these struggles will just be symptoms of early adulthood.
I leave this episode feeling like the Rae we see on that train has the strength and confidence to know she can weather the storms to come. I’m glad to have had the chance to witness her journey.
I’m going to miss the killer soundtrack, though.
Aired at 10pm on Monday 6 July 2015 on E4.
> Buy the Season 1-2 boxset on Amazon.
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