‘Mama’ review

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Despite having the name Guillermo del Toro emblazoned all over the posters, this horror film from writer/director Andrés Muschietti lacks any of the originality or charm of the man behind Pan’s Labyrinth.

Mama sees two young girls rehoused with their uncle after their father went a bit nuts, killing his work partners, his wife and then kidnapping them – not to mention the fact they spent five years alone in an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere. Though, as it happens, turns out they weren’t quite alone.

The girls find it difficult to adjust to their new life with their uncle Lucas, played by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jaime Lannister in Game of Thrones), and his girlfriend, bass-playing, tattooed wearing, children-phobic Annabel, played by Zero Dark Thirty’s Jessica Chastain. It’s even more problematic when it turns out that their former carer in the aforementioned abandoned shack, the titular Mama, has decided on some visits.

Stylistically, Mama seems to have pinched very familiar horror tropes and facets from a number of films in the same genre. It’s got creepy long unkempt hair, weird walking, guttural odd sounds and melty faces – but enough about Jessica Chastain.

No, but seriously, they’ve even gone for the so overused children drawing eerie pictures and singing. Add to that the fact that people in the film love to walk about in the dark (there’s very little day action) and go into scary remote houses in the middle of the night whilst there’s even flickering lights and the standard thuds and wooshes every other minute. It’s just that dumb.

There are so many laughable and clichéd moments that a drinking game should be used if you happen to catch this flick at home. Having said that, if you like reliable old fashioned loud noises and shriek-inducing scares, then Mama is for you. It certainly delivers on the jump front.

The script matches the unchallenging nature of the film, which is surprising since it was partly written by Luther creator Neil Cross, who has two Doctor Who episodes coming up later this year. Again, you’ll be smirking at some of the dross delivered.

Mama would be a great film if you’d never seen a horror film before, but is ultimately best avoided due to the familiarity of the genre, unengaging performances and risible plot.

Released in UK cinemas on Friday 22 February 2013.