The Doctor Who Fan Service Hot Line Week 10: The Battle Of Ranskoor Av Kolos

Wow, what a battle! 

Press 1 if you assume the script specified the planets “must be in containers that remind viewers of both the Key to Time and the teeth I keep in sacks in my basement.”

Press 2 if you now know the answer to the question ‘Do I have the right?’ is ‘No, but shooting them in the foot and imprisoning them forever is fine’.

Press 3 if you would like to commend Series 11 for not featuring any old monsters.

Press 4 if you’ve watched The Pirate Planet and thought ‘I mean it’s good, but it could really do with one of those huge final-boss-battle lasers you get in superhero films’.

Press 5 if you hope ‘Graham’s PG-rated paraphrasing of popular action catchphrases’ becomes a regular feature in Series 12.

Press 6 if you can’t possibly foresee any problems with the Ux cutting about the galaxy being both incredibly powerful and totally credulous.

Press 7 if you’re really looking forward to the rug pull of it being the Quarks in the New Year’s Day episode.

Press 8 if you’ve found the editing a bit strange this series, choosing weird shots at weird times when you would expect a slow, careful build up of dread carefully deploying sound and suggestion to – hey look robots – reveal the monsters.

Press 9 if you were astonished at the almighty power of Tim Shaw’s unnecessarily slow dipping mechanism. 

Press # if you feel the wait til 2020 for Series 12 is a missed opportunity to capitalise on the popularity of the new series. 

Press * if you don’t need to wait til 2020, because you’ve got the blu-ray of Season 19: the original Series 11.