As any Desperate Housewives fan knows, no one on Wisteria Lane is totally innocent.
Bree is an alcoholic who abandoned her son and watched her ex-lover die, Lynette’s Machiavellian ways have helped prevent her husband ever getting ahead in life (until now), Gabby cheated on her husband with her teenage gardener and, Susan, well, she became a porn star to make ends meet. And of course, as of the end of last season, all of our four beloved lead housewives are accessories to murder.
As Mary Alice herself has crooned, “Why do we find it so hard to believe that good and evil can live side by side in the same heart?” The answer is because, whilst none of the characters are perfect, and some of their behaviour over the last eight seasons has been downright atrocious, every now and again there is a character that is truly evil.
Indeed there are those that come along purely to ruin the lives of the main cast. Orson’s mother framed him for murder and attempted to kill his wife Bree, Katherine Mayfair’s wife-beating husband came back to terrorize her in, and let’s not forget the terrifyingly calm and chummy exterior of Edie’s husband, Dave Williams, which masked an inner turmoil. And remember Martha Huber, the original gossip queen extraordinaire? Not that she lasted long.
Here are the top five villains from Desperate Housewives’ history that we believe have been the most chilling, the most hateable, but above all, the most cunning…
5. Patrick Logan (John Barrowman)
Who is he?
The terrorist ex-husband of feisty Season 6 housewife Angie Bolen. Devilishly handsome and eerily calm, he manages to exude immense threat with a simple flash of his pearly whites.
What did he do?
A terrorist in eco-activists clothing, Logan stole the heart of a passionate but naive young Angie in college and convinced her to make a bomb ‘for the cause’. When someone got killed, Angie went on the run, carrying Logan’s baby. 19 years down the line, Logan finds her, and befriends her (and his) son to get to her… and make her pay…
Most evil moment?
Locking Angie’s son in her house with a bomb, pressing the detonator, giving Angie 30 seconds to run in and save him. Of course, we all know how that backfired.
4. George Williams (Roger Bart)
Who is he?
Bree’s chemist, then lover, then fiancé… then stalker. Brilliantly geeky and gloriously unhinged, this often passive aggressive character is one of the more pathetic villians, but undoubtedly one of the most disturbed.
What did he do?
With every softly spoken compliment given to Bree, George’s nice, well-turned out man image endears Bree into spending time with him during her tough patch with Rex, and subsequently after his death.
However, Bree never wants more than a friendship, whilst George wants so much more… and as Bree’s interest wanes, George’s obsession grows. Bree humours him, due to her trademark decency, and even agrees to wed him. But the more she humours him, the more his expectations rise… as does his psychotic temper.
Most evil moment?
Gradually killing Bree’s husband Rex over a period of weeks by poisoning his medication.
3. Kayla Huntingdon (Rachel G. Fox)
Who is she?
Tom Scavo’s young love child, and eventual nemesis to Lynette. Harmless at first, she harbours a disturbing hatred for her Dad’s wife, causing her to be shockingly creative in order to get Lynette out of the picture forever. Kayla makes Lynette’s own brats look positively angelic in comparison.
What did she do?
What didn’t this little nightmare do? She convinces Lynette’s twins to jump off the roof and seriously injure themselves, and also persuades them to burn down a rival restaurant to Scavo’s.
She threatens to blackmail Lynette, then also threatens Penny, causing Lynette to slap her, which Kayla exaggerates to the point of calling her therapist, claiming it was a frequent occurrence.
Most evil moment?
Burning herself with curling irons and calling child services on Lynette.
2. Paul Young (Mark Moses)
Who is he?
The original bad guy. Husband to would-have-been fifth housewife Mary Alice Young, Paul became a resentful recluse since the death of his wife, and especially resents the residents Wisteria Lane. He’s been evil ever since.
What did he do?
He killed the woman who blackmailed his wife into killing herself by strangling her in her own home. Then when he eventually ends up incarcerated for it in Season 2, we think we’ve seen the last of him. Wrong.
In Season 7, he returns to the lane after many years in prison, attempts to set up a Halfway House for convicts on Wisteria Lane, and causes a riot in the process.
Most evil moment?
Blackmailing Susan Mayer into selling him her home when he discovers she is doing softcore porn online to save money. There are many moments when we love to hate Paul, but this is one where we genuinely hate him.
1. Felicia Tilman (Harriet Sansom Harris)
Who is she?
Sister to Martha Huber, the woman who blackmailed Mary Alice Young.
What did she do?
Felicia is not your average villain. In fact, one could argue she is no villain at all, particularly when her nemesis, and the only man she tries to harm, is the #2 villain on our list, Mr Paul Young. But whilst Paul is a disturbed, emotionally traumatized man, searching for peace, Felicia is nothing less than clinically insane.
She admits in the first season that she disliked her sister, and yet moves onto Wisteria Lane just to find her killer. Once she discovers it is Paul Young, she becomes obsessed to get him to pay. It seems as if Felicia Tilman is a woman looking for purpose, and she finds her evil purpose in convicting Paul.
She asks Mike Delfino, another nemesis of Paul, to kill him on multiple occasions (although he never does), and seasons later eventually resorts to using her own daughter to seduce and marry Paul to get to him.
It seems apt for this show that the top villain should herself be a desperate housewife. And they don’t get any more desperate than Felicia.
Most evil moment?
Undoubtedly one of the most insane acts ever on Desperate Housewives, Felicia becomes so hungry for revenge on Paul that she pumps large quantities of blood from her own body and cuts off two of her fingers, planting them in Paul’s car, in order to frame him for her own death.
Who’s your favourite Desperates Housewives villain? Let us know below…
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