“Did you mention the rules?” asks the Eleventh Doctor in ‘The Time of the Doctor’.
“Now, listen, bit of advice. Tell me the truth if you think you know it, lay down the law if you’re feeling brave. But, Daleks, never ever tell me the rules!”
Well, sorry, we’re going to…
The Doctor has mentioned his own rules many times over his adventures (with a rather dubious numbering system) and we’ve gathered most of them here.
> Buy the complete Season 9 box set on DVD on Amazon.
> Buy the complete Season 9 box set on Blu-ray on Amazon.
So – pay attention, future companions – here’s a list of the Doctor’s rules…
The Second Doctor’s Rule Number 1 in ‘The Two Doctors’:
“Don’t go wandering off. Stay with me.”
The Second Doctor’s Rule Number 2 in ‘The Two Doctors’:
“Let me do the talking. All you have to do is to stand in the background, and admire my diplomatic skills.”
The Fourth Doctor’s Rule Number 1 in ‘The Ribos Operation’:
“Do exactly what I say.”
The Fourth Doctor’s Rule Number 2 in ‘The Ribos Operation’:
“Stick close to me.”
The Fourth Doctor’s Rule Number 3 in ‘The Ribos Operation’:
“Let me do all the talking.”
The Seventh Doctor’s Rule Number 1 in ‘Dragonfire’:
“I’m in charge.”
The Seventh Doctor’s Rule Number 2 in ‘Dragonfire’:
“I’m not the professor, I’m the Doctor.”
The Seventh Doctor’s Rule Number 3 in ‘Dragonfire’:
“I’ll think of that one later.”
The Ninth, Tenth and Eleventh Doctor’s Rule Number 1 in ‘The Empty Child’, ‘The Girl in the Fireplace’ and ‘The Eleventh Hour’:
“Don’t wander off.”
The Tenth Doctor’s Rule Number 10 in ‘The Price of Paradise’:
“Don’t eat anything until you’re sure it’s totally safe. Unless it’s a badly cooked kronkburger – in which case don’t eat at all.”
The Tenth and Eleventh Doctor’s Rule Number 408 in ‘The Waters of Mars’ and ‘The Time of Angels’:
“Time is not the boss of you.”
The Tenth Doctor’s rule in ‘The Girl in the Fireplace’:
“Always take a banana to a party.”
The Eleventh Doctor’s alternative Rule Number 1 in ‘The Big Bang’:
“The Doctor lies.”
The Eleventh Doctor’s Rule Number 7 in ‘Let’s Kill Hitler’:
“Never run when you are scared.”
The Eleventh Doctor’s Rule Number 8 in ‘The Pandorica Opens’:
“Never ignore a coincidence. Unless you’re busy, then always ignore a coincidence.”
The Eleventh Doctor’s Rule Number 27 in ‘Let’s Kill Hitler’:
“Never knowingly be serious.”
The Twelfth Doctor’s Rule Number 1 in ‘Flatline’:
“Use your enemies’ power against them.”
The Twelfth Doctor’s other rule in ‘The Girl Who Died’:
“It’s okay to make ripples but not tidal waves.”
The Twelfth Doctor’s Rule 102 in ‘Face the Raven’:
“Never tell anyone your actual plan.”
> Buy the complete Season 9 box set on DVD on Amazon.
> Buy the complete Season 9 box set on Blu-ray on Amazon.
Which other rules have we forgotten? Let us know below…