‘You know my naaaay-ay-aaaame!’ Chris Cornell screamed in the theme song for Casino Royale.

And yes, we do know Bond, James Bond’s name, but how could we not when, over the course of 50 years of films, he’s plastered his moniker and face across aisles of movie tie-in merchandise?

He’s not always been successful in whoring himself out to products, however.

Here we look at some of the weirdest and worst stuff to ever feature 007’s face. Now, pay attention…

 

Secret Service Sunglasses

If you’re just learning how to wear sunglasses and need a training pair before you graduate to some knock-off Ray-Bans from down the covered market, then boy does Roger Moore’s cardboard visage have a fashionable treat for you.

Save yourself minutes of conversation by donning these specs and simultaneously letting everyone know that you like James Bond and have no taste. I secretly love these, no surprise.

 

Car Bullet Hole Stickers

It’s 1988 and your dad’s grey BMW 6-series is looking a bit boring, isn’t it? What better way to liven up the school run or a trip to grandma’s than by pretending that you and he live the exciting life of international spies!

Packaging under your arm, you sneak into the garage and affix these conspicuous bullet-hole stickers to the rear windscreen while he’s busy mowing the lawn.

The next time you and dad are in the car he checks his mirrors, creases his forehead, and grumbles something about wishing he had a passenger ejector seat. See, he’s getting into the spirit of things too!

 

Moonraker Halloween Costume

Saints preserve us.

 

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