Here we look at some of the weirdest and worst stuff to ever feature 007’s face.

Now, pay attention…

 

007 Electric Drawing Set

A product from 1966 and an eBay regular, the 007 Electric Drawing Set boldly promises you can ‘Reconstruct the faces of enemy agents!’ via the ‘Spy-o-graph’ (not to be confused with the toy Spirograph, which only allowed you to reconstruct enemy geometry).

With that description you’d be forgiven for thinking you were buying something Q-branch would use to profile a suspect, like that unwieldy bit of kit in For Your Eyes Only.

In fact it’s nothing more than a light box to allow you to easily trace images. Bond images! (supplied). Or any images really. Enjoy some hot tracing intrigue, just like your hero 007 does on his missions!

 

Barbie & James Bond Doll Set

She’d left Ken sleeping in a tangle of sheets. Quietly she returned to her own room where she quickly showered, slipped into a gold Cavalli gown, applied a liberal spritz of Guerlain – her favourite fragrance – and then, making sure that the Pico Beretta strapped to her inner thigh was still in working order, took the lift down to the casino floor.

She stood in the doorway, scanning the gaming tables. There he was, at the bar, martini raised to a powerful jaw, his bicep shaping the tuxedo fabric. She suddenly understood why SMERSH had told her to be so careful. She sidled up to him. Now that she was close she noticed the faint scar that ran down his right cheek.

‘I hate to drink alone,’ she said with a well-practiced sigh.

He turned to her, an eyebrow raised. ‘Then it’s a small world.’

‘Yes, it is, Mr…?’

‘Bond. James Bond.’ He drained his glass. ‘And you are?’

‘Barbie. Just Barbie.’

He smiled. She was suddenly aware of how cool the metal of her Beretta felt against her skin. This would be an evening to remember.

 

Bond vs Oddjob Airfix Kit

The image on the box promises excitement. His hand braced for a karate chop, President John F Kennedy lunges at Chairman Mao! Oh wait, no, the text says it’s James Bond and Oddjob. Ah. Hmm. My mistake.

You might be forgiven for thinking that this was a product produced before Sean Connery was James Bond, but no, this is from 1967, three years after Goldfinger.

Three years. Isn’t that enough time to learn how to draw Sean Connery? And if you managed to assemble the Airfix kit without glueing your fingers to the kitchen table then what you got looked a lot like the image on the box, but nothing like what you remember seeing on screen.

‘I must be dreaming…’ or perhaps it’s the plastic interacting with the powerful solvents.

 

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