In a world as diverse as the one of Doctor Who, there are so many changes, it is understandable to think that the only thing the same in Doctor Who is the name.
But actually it’s surprising to think just how many aspects of the show are constant. Over time, Josh Steer is going to look at some of the constants of Who which really do provide the foundation for all episodes.
In the first of these articles I am looking at the question of the TARDIS and more specifically the chameleon circuit. The TARDIS is an unquestionable trademark of Doctor Who some (myself included) would argue that when most people see a police box in the street, their first association is with a time machine rather than a telephone, or police box.
Personally this really shows the amazing way in which Doctor Who has an effect on people’s lives, when I say I like Doctor Who, no one has anyone ever replied asking me what the show is or what it’s about. Everyone knows that The Doctor travels in the TARDIS and fights the Daleks; it’s like basic human nature!
This is clearly a winning formula as it has stood the test of time. Nevertheless, it is still important for us to ensure we don’t take the small things for granted. Just think where we would be if it wasn’t for that blue box!
Of course the TARDIS has been in danger in times gone by – in the 1990s, the BBC went through a long legal battle with the Metropolitan Police over the right to continue to produce merchandise of the police box (luckily they succeeded). And more recently, both the Beeb and Whovians ourselves shuddered as Stef Coburn, son of the very man who created the TARDIS, tried to take it off us.
Luckily, the BBC has always managed to keep the TARDIS in our hands, but is this really such an essential part of Who?
In a show like Doctor Who, there is an ongoing, apparently infinite theme of change. Change is the thing that has and will keep the show going, however, what if there was literally nothing constant in the show:
“Question: you take a broom, you replace the handle, and then later you replace the brush. And you do that, over and over again. Is it still the same broom? Answer: no, of course it isn’t, but you can still sweep the floor. (Which is not strictly relevant: skip that last part.) You have replaced every piece of yourself, mechanical and organic, time and time again. There’s not a trace of the original you left. You probably can’t even remember where you got that face from.” – The Doctor, ‘Deep Breath’ (2014)
As explained above, without some essential elements Doctor Who just wouldn’t be successful. The TARDIS is one of those essential constants, and one of the biggest icons for all science fiction. Therefore just imagine if we lost it? Of course in a show about time travel the answer is simple, The Doctor steals another time machine. The only question is, would it have a working chameleon circuit?
The reason The Doctor doesn’t just fix the chameleon circuit is because he loves modern-day Britain so much that having a police box as the TARDIS exterior is like travelling with modern day Britain, just as we would a picture of a loved one in our wallet. So assuming the TARDIS can no longer be a police box, what would it be in modern day Britain?
A bus stop
Ah, the environment! Something we are rather belatedly learning we need to look after. Gone are the days of free plastic bags in the UK (is it just me, or is that cupboard under the stairs now worth millions thanks to the 5p charge?) And the other increasing trend is of course buses!
We’ve always had them, but now they’re rapidly on the increase! We have more bus stops than ever, and in the lovely British rain, bus shelters are also on the rise, to encourage all the soft brits to use the bus. The only issue with a bus stop would simply be the fact that there is no physical entrance, so there would have to be a Harry Potter-esque system of simply running into a wall. But for someone as mad as The Doctor, I doubt that will be a problem.
A car
One simply cannot mention a car in Doctor Who without briefly referring to Bessie, the love of Jon Pertwee’s life. Cars are so common these days, and it’s guaranteed that they would fit in with modern British society. Assuming you have removed the Atmos system, and painted it TARDIS blue this idea seems fool-proof. However, if the Doctor’s TARDIS were to appear like a car there would be some practical issues, can the car actually drive? What if someone smashes a window?
However, there is a more pressing question, what model would it be? Ford? Ferrari? VW? (I’ll stop there, but please feel free to discuss this in the comments, and if it gets enough attention I’ll write a separate article on it!)
A wheelie-bin
Now hear me out, it sounds crazy, I know. But wheelie bins are something I see all the time, and always pass them by. Now personally I see this working better as a large industrial waste dumpster but a trash can would work just as well. People rarely look in someone else’s bin and it could provide many a comic moment.
Just imagine Amelia Pond’s face if a raggedy man popped his head out of a smoking wheelie bin which had just crash landed in her backyard! It would be hilarious!
Nevertheless, this would also have its problems, I mean unless you completely re-structure the TARDIS interior, how on earth are you going to get out of it? And imagine if you landed on the day the rubbish was collected, that poor bin man would get the fright of his life! So maybe a trash can isn’t the best idea in the world.
A port-a-loo / public toilet
Like the above, this could also provide many an amusing moment, I can just imagine, his first companion running in thinking this was a toilet, and absolutely bursting do his/her business. Apart from this one problem of poor people expecting a toilet and getting a time machine. Which believe it or not, will be a disappointment for some! (It’s true, read it and weep!)
A port-a-loo however, would be an easy replacement for a police box however, as they are roughly the same size and look somewhat similar, so though there would undoubtedly be some comedy moments this is at least a potential contender.
A manhole
To me, this seems the best option, manhole covers are everywhere, and have ever really taken notice of one? No. (If you have, thank you for nothing, that’s this paragraph spoilt, please in future be less observant!)
A manhole cover could easily appear anywhere where there is a floor. And though it would require a TARDIS interior reshuffle, it still seems the most likely option. Why? Because it’s a small, tough object with a clear entrance which is difficult to damage. And of course, when entering the new TARDIS, you would obviously jump and land in the swimming pool!
The TARDIS is an essential element of the Whoniverse and the exterior is one of the only images that has lived through the whole 53 years of Doctor Who. Not only is it an emblem of our beloved show, but of sci-fi in general.
The TARDIS shows how such a mediocre thing, can signify so much, and perhaps we need to show the TARDIS even more, and display the emblem as a sign of our devotion to the Doctor. On the other hand, if Chris Chibnall gets bored, he could always write a very funny episode with a fixed chameleon circuit, but until he does, all those that write fanfiction can get scribbling! Thanks for reading!
Next time we’ll look at the idea of The Doctor having a male companion…
Do you think Doctor Who would still be the same if the TARDIS wasn’t a police box? Let us know below…