Granted, in spite of my misgivings, at six episodes in, I admittedly do want to find out exactly what all the weirdness in Tatau has been leading to.

I know I’ve said it before, but there’s something that just has the wrong ring about it with a story about a white English fellow who apparently has some magical destiny to swoop in and save the day, and now Kyle really believes in it too. Wow, he’s better at doing aboriginal culture than the locals!

I have definitely decided that I like Ghost Budgie more than the normal one – he gets to be a lot more useful, and who doesn’t enjoy a bit of there’s-an-invisible-person-in-the-room-everybody’s-trying-not-to-acknowledge acting? It’s almost a shame he’s going to pull through. Especially as I’m pretty sure he was going to discover something shifty about Koringo.

Apart from the fact that this episode is the first time we get any indication that Koringo is, in actual fact, massively creepy beyond Kyle’s less than fully reliable estimation. We even get to see them race through a forest and duke it out with each other, like a good old-fashioned duel over the hand of a lady, only shirtless and confusing. He sees murder visions and snuck into her home.

How is Aumea still putting up with his nonsense? Please, oh please tell me we’re not going to end with those two getting together.

Please tell me that Tyler has nothing to be unjustifiably jealous about between those two – what basis of a relationship does Tyler have to be jealous about, anyway? They’ve known each other for a few days, most of which he’s been a basket case, and they spooned one time while he was having a bad trip?

And dash it all, Lara Morgan! I was actually rather hopeful about her, and then she goes and has enough legitimate feelings for Maui that she doesn’t do her actual job and submit her evidence to the police after all. Because he’s definitely better off at the mercy of biker gangs who probably won’t look too kindly on his charlie foxtrot of a pearl smuggling plan than he would be in police custody.

You’re smarter than this, Lara.

Aired at 10.40pm on Sunday 10 May 2015 on BBC Three.

> Read more by Sami Kelsh on her website.

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