After Bilyana’s booting from the boardroom last week, 15 candidates remain. But it’s not all flogging printed tat to tourists, oh no.
This week, at the eye-wateringly early hour of 5:30am, the bleary-eyed group were summoned to the Victoria & Albert Museum, where a mannequin that resembled Lord Sugar had sprung to life, and commanded them to design a new household gadget.
With Jane captaining the girls’ Team Sterling, and Azhar leading Team Phoenix, they set about the task, and though your house may not be grateful, it made for some classic Apprentice viewing…
Forty Winks of the Week
As the Girls discussed products in the car, 20 year-old restaurateur Maria (also winner of the ‘Most Likely to Develop Diabetes’ award, judging by the quantities of sugar she was dumping in her coffee) took a quick ‘power nap’. Amazing that she could really, given how loud Jenna’s voice is.
Team leader Jane asked if Maria had any thoughts, and she drowsily lolled from her slumber and replied “I’m thinking, I’m thinking… I’m thinking…” before promptly closing her eyes again. Bless. Perhaps she was dreaming of all those restaurants she claims to open by the time she’s 25…
Product that Most Resembled a Video-Game Character
While Team Sterling invented what basically amounted to a bath windscreen – the Splish-Splash – Team Phoenix came up with a leftovers compactor – the Eco-Press – which looked a lot like Bullet Bill from the Super Mario games.
For a glorified bin it proved oddly popular, though we can’t help but think it would have sold even better if it had eyes and a wicked grin drawn on it, thus cornering the market in avid gamers who have little time to recycle.
Shugsy thought it looked like something you put nuclear waste in, thus proving two things: he’s never played Super Mario, and that it’s a good job Amstrad doesn’t dispose of radioactive matter.
Most Hubristic Comments of the Week
Not since the invention of the tarpaulin have a group of people with a plastic sheet been so confident. With their Splish-Splash in hand, the girls felt victory was assured.
“Guys we are gonna win this!” one shouted, while another could be heard declaring “I’m not being funny, there’s no way we are not gonna win.” Talk about famous last words. Except they weren’t the last words. Because plenty were blurted out during the…
Most Embarrassing Pitch of the Week
Now, ambition in business is to be encouraged, but Team Sterling’s pitch to Amazon was so ambitious that you’d have thought they’d invented the TV for the number of orders they had in mind.
Jane, giving the pitch, suggested an order of one million units (a £9 million order), and upon hearing such a suggestion Karren Brady’s face was so contorted with embarrassment that it looked as though it might drop off. And things only became worse when the figures were questioned and revealed as incorrect, resulting in the kind of cringe-inducing awkward silence The Apprentice does so well.
Unanimous Comment of the Week
Fridge magnate (sorry) Azhar had dragged his team through research, design and pitches, and not without a fair amount of disagreement over all three (one day your washing-up glove baby will come to life Adam, one day…).
So it was no surprise that when Shugsy asked “Good team leader?” there was a resounding “NO”. Ouch. And though the Boys won it didn’t stop Azhar from trying to play it cool (again, sorry) and attempting damage control at The Ivy. He’d best watch out if Phoenix lose next week.
Aired at 9pm on Wednesday 28th March 2012 on BBC One.
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