There are far-fetched plots and there is Red Dawn. The premise is North Korea, a country with a population of 24 million, invading the USA, a country with a population of 300+ million. Who comes to the rescue of Uncle Sam? Your friendly neighbourhood teens made up of football jocks and cheerleaders.

This is an unnecessary remake of John Milius’ eighties film of the same name. Originally replacing the Soviet Union with China, the enemy has now been changed to North Korea (so as not to offend the large Chinese market).

The poor excuse for plot exposition involves intercutting old newsreels with Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton, Kim Jong Un, terrorist threats and cybercriminal attacks in the opening sequence.

A pre-Thor Chris Hemsworth plays Jed Eckart, a war veteran returning home after a tour of duty in the Middle East. His young brother, Matt (Josh Peck), is a quarterback in the local high school. Cue the’why were you not there for me when I needed a brother to look after me?’ brotherly angst.

Before they have time to book an appointment with a therapist, the pesky Northern Koreans strike the next day, parachuting from the sky in true geometrical CGI fashion. The mighty American army is completely non-existent throughout; they try to explain it away by saying the Russians have helped attacked the American communication grid.

The film rapidly moves into Hunger Games territory as Jed teaches his rebel teenager gang, “The Wolverines”, the art of guerrilla warfare and survival in the woods. Along with Hemsworth and Peck are Josh Hutcherson, Adrianne Palicki, Isabel Lucas, and Connor Cruise in the Wolverine gang. Yep, that is Peeta from the Hunger Games and Connor, son of Tom. This film was actually made in 2009, way before The Hunger Games and The Avengers, and  it would probably have been a straight to DVD release were it not for the presence of Hemsworth and Hutcherson.

No one comes out of this film with any glory; the film is laboured in its depiction of brotherly, paternal relationships and the fact that Chris Hemsworth and Josh Peck play brothers but look so different is really quite distracting. Hemsworth is a facsimile of the typical American Jock; while Peck’s constant teenage angst look is painful to watch.

Director Dan Bradley has been in charge of the stunts for films such as the Bourne and Spider-Man series. However there is little of the dynamism from those films. There are lots of gun fight scenes in this film, but they are about as mechanical and stilted as they come. Where is John Woo and his doves when you need them?

The original Red Dawn with Patrick Swayze was made in 1984 at the height of the Cold War during the Reagan era and certainly the plot made more sense back then, when ordinary citizens feared a Soviet invasion. In 2013, this remake just comes across as dated and unnecessary. If you are looking for a survivalist fantasy with teenagers battling against the odds for survival, I would stick with The Hunger Games.

Released in UK cinemas on Friday 15 March 2013.