Week four of Pouted; we’re halfway through and still it seems we haven’t really got terribly far.

The key action scene this week is Sam donning a hoodie and riding a bike through London in pursuit of sneering Turner – who has a 4×4 so this should be no contest – but somehow it is. You expect The Stig to be in a speedboat on the Thames at the same time and a sneering Jeremy Clarkson waiting to meet them all at the end.

Once again, Sam’s Harry Potter invisibility cloak is put to good use. Maybe as Byzantium is a ‘private security firm’ they’re actually sending Sam in to expose the Turners’ woeful lack of surveillance and to flog them a few CCTV cameras at the end of all this? Would be a better twist than moles or eggtimers…

Speaking of moles, the search for the inside man/woman is dragged out a bit more and it’s so obviously now not Aidan by virtue of his obviousness (i.e. blatant red herring by the writers), we have to suspect the least obvious candidate – I’m going for Zoe, as she’s the only person I like in this and so has to be replaced by another cold fish after no doubt ending up on the wrong end of a bitch fight with Sam in Episode 8.

In other news, I’ve now worked out that scruffy bloke is called Ian, which hardly helps him stand out, even though he’s meant to be the ‘loveable layabout’ of the Byzantium squad. He’s up to no good again this week as he attempts to ingratiate himself with the baddies’ token scruffy bloke, and once again makes very little progress.

At least evil Doctor Syringe is back having been last seen going upstairs in the Turners’ mansion a couple of episodes ago. Presumably he had a good nap in one of the spare rooms and reappeared bright eyed and bushy tailed to literally needle Sam this week. Any bets as to how long it’ll take her to recover? I’ve a fiver on her lamping some geezer twice her size within five minutes next week.

The episode ends with a big boom and Aidan caught in the middle (well, periphery) of it to try and make us give a fig about him. We’ll see if we can keep on our toes long enough.

Aired at 9pm on Thursday 25 October 2012 on BBC One.

> Order Series 1 on DVD on Amazon.

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