It cannot be denied that there is something faintly disturbing about the Hairy Bikers. The two big, hirsute Geordies are a far cry from Delia Smith, even though (based on her famous outburst at Carrow Road a few years ago) she could probably match them Newcastle Brown Ale for Newcastle Brown Ale in a drinking competition.

Yet whatever mild concerns you may have about their suitability to present cookery programmes will pale into insignificance when you discover – thanks to Cassetteboy – the sordid truth behind their ostensibly innocent TV shows…