Here we look at some of the weirdest and worst stuff to ever feature 007’s face.
Now, pay attention…
The box for GoldenEye 007
The gold standard, seminal Bond game. If you or your friend owned an N64 in the 1990s then you too will have known the simple joy of killing a Soviet guard on the toilet.
This is not about the game. The game is great. This is about the box, because in all those years of multiplayer killings and paintball mode, not once – not once! – did I notice the massive, glaringly obvious flaw on the front of the box. Neither, it appears, did the people who designed the box. And if you still can’t see it, just follow Pierce Brosnan’s mouth behind the gun and- OH GOD HIS JAW. Yep. That’s it.
Like Never Say Never Again, once you’ve seen it, you can sadly never un-see it.
Corgi Citroen 2CV
Corgi’s cars are some of the best Bond merchandise available. Their Aston Martin DB5 from Goldfinger is still the classic 007 toy, even long after you’ve lost the little ejector seat man under the fridge. I still haven’t found mine.
However, not every Bond film features a car you’d want to vroooom along the kitchen linoleum, and especially not Corgi’s yellow Citroen 2CV from For Your Eyes Only. That’s all it was. A yellow Citroen 2CV, in a box with Roger Moore’s face on it.
They didn’t even throw in miniature figurine of a frightened old olive picker or anything, the chancers.
A few years later Matchbox would attempt to out-do the disappointment-on-wheels of the Citroen 2CV toy by releasing that famous Bond vehicle, the Renault 11 French taxi, seen in A View to a Kill. Just what every child wants to play with; a mid-range four door hatchback.
Oddjob Action Puppet
‘Goldfinger’s Fiendish Handyman!’ exclaims the packaging blurb, which makes him sound like he’d turn up over a Bank Holiday Weekend and overcharge you for putting up shelves. As a puppet he is literally a handy man, but unless you’re mounting a nightmarish all-puppet revue of Goldfinger, or wish to terrify a baby, then this 1965 toy is merely a soft-vinyl oddity that bears a passing resemblance to Oliver Hardy.
That said, if you own one and he’s in good nick and comes with his excitable cardboard backing, expect to make between two and three hundred pounds. But please, please, do not use the profits to buy any of the other merchandise on this list. Not event those sunglasses.
> Buy the complete James Bond collection on Blu-ray.
What’s the weirdest bit of James Bond merchandise you own? Let us know below…