There’s a lot going on in your cinema this autumn, that young couple cheerfully trading STIs on the back row notwithstanding. We’ve stuck our mitts into the movie tombola and pulled out a handful of films that are coming your way as the dark nights draw in.
But remember, just as this season brings treats, it also brings a few tricks (Resident Evil 5, we’re looking at you). The rich leafy carpet of russet and gold is all well and good, but somewhere under it will lie the odd dog do of disappointment. Still, we’ll just press on like a writer on a deadline wringing out a confused metaphor. So pop your wellies on and cheer up.
This sci-fi action offering is the third film from Rian Johnson (Brick, The Brothers Bloom). A young assassin (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is ordered to kill enemies of a corporation that are sent to him, back in time from the year 2072. Problems arise when he has to kill his future self (Bruce Willis), who then escapes.
Of course, Gordon-Levitt resembles Willis about as much as a pineapple resembles the Black Panther Movement and no amount of prosthetic or computer generated fiddling is going to change that. Still, here at CultBox, we are suckers for a bit of time travel, and there are positive mumblings from critics.
Silent Hill: Revelations 3D
2006’s Silent Hill was based on Konami’s ‘survival horror’ video game of the same name, the playing of which left CultBox in tears and adult nappies. This belated sequel is based on the third game and sees various people get dragged into an alternate dimension, within which exists the town of Silent Hill where it’s almost impossible to get a decent cup of tea.
Game of Thrones fans will be happy to know that two members of House Stark, Sean Bean and Kit Harington, have starring roles.
Tim Burton (yes). Black and white (yes). Stop motion (YES!). Tim Burton fleshes out his 1984 short film parody of Frankenstein, in which a young boy scientist brings his dog back to life.
‘Frankenstein’ is of course the name of the scientist, not the monster in Shelley’s novel or the dog in Burton’s film. Would it honestly kill you to read a book once in a while?
As is usual, we’ve been drip fed information on this highly anticipated film, celebrating our ageless hero’s 50th anniversary. The odd photo. The press conference where half the cast don’t turn up and the ones that do don’t say anything. The world’s worst kept secret that Adele’s doing the theme tune. The various trailers all using the same five seconds of (admittedly awesome) footage.
We do know Ralph ‘Voldemort’ Fiennes is in it. We do know the villain has the most distracting hair since Sean Connery’s toupee. We do know Bond will wear a midnight blue tux with contrast black shawl collar (bold, Daniel, very bold). We do know that the incomparable Ben Whishaw debuts as a reimagined cardigan-wearing Q. (Did we say Whishaw? We meant WhishPHWOAR. That’s right.)
It seems this instalment will try to blend the gritty reality of the recent Craigean (yes, it’s a word) films with classic Bondian (and that one) elements from years gone by.
A remake of the 1984 war film, which depicted the Soviet Union mounting a full scale invasion of the United States, this one sees North Korea heading the invading force.
2012’s Red Dawn will star Chris Hemsworth, Josh Peck, Josh Hutcherson and Adrianne Palicki as a band of youths turned guerrilla fighters endeavouring to liberate their town.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
OMG it’s back for one final instalment (until the inevitable reboot – we give it two years). So the vampire child has been born (She’s called Renesmee. Seriously. What the hell?) and all sorts of trouble is involved in protecting her.
Alright, so the cast press tour’s going to be a bit bloody awkward, but the movie will be fun, won’t it? If nothing else Lautner will take his top off and Michael Sheen will cut loose. (Renesmee though?)
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Is anyone else a frankenweenie bit worried about this? Peter Jackson must adapt what is essentially a children’s book to satisfy a younger demographic whilst satiating an adult audience who enjoyed the darker themes of The Lord of the Rings.
It’s a tricky balancing act, though if anyone can manage it, it’s PJ – and the trailer does suggest that the film will crowbar in as many references to the trilogy as elvishly possible. Of course this could ruin the whole thing, but we’re a glass half full kind of group here. And will we go and see it? Of course we will.
Watch the trailer for Looper…
Which movies are you most looking forward to this autumn? Let us know below…