My life was sad, and distinctly lacking Honour. My Bat’leth had grown dull and rusted after many years without shedding an enemy’s blood. And I was pretty sure that the Romulans were laughing at me behind my back whenever I went to the toilet.
Then I read The Klingon Art of War and now my life has turned around. Why, just today I slaughtered a targ. Not my fault, it ran out into the road in front of me.
You really have to like Klingons for The Klingon Art of War to be anything more than a mild diversion to your sci-fi eyes. Really really. More than you probably like life itself. But if you’re the kind of fearless warrior who knows their Qo’noS from their Sto-vo-kor, yet feels they’re not quite living up to their inner Klingon, this is the book to live your life by. Or you could just try to be like the rest of us and half-ass your way day by day through this meaningless existence. Up to you.
Long-time Trek author Keith R.A. DeCandido has ‘translated’ the tales of the mythic Klingon hero Kahless and his teachings, as well as stories of other noble Klingon bloodlettings (even Worf gets a look in).
Broken up into 10 precepts, the idea is that as you read these stories you’ll be taught the ways of Klingon honour, ethics, and wisdom. Such advice as don’t fight an invincible foe, try not to get captured by your enemy, and definitely don’t be a coward. Sensible stuff really. Ignoring any of these lessons will result in instant dishonour.
Basically it’s Machiavelli meets Confucius meets a Self-Help book. In space.
If that sounds like your kind of thinking, or you’re the sort of book-lover who owns a copy of Klingon Hamlet (it really is better in the original Klingon), then this will be right up your spacelane. DeCandido’s writing style and particular knack for opaque Confucian dictums (‘The wind does not respect a fool’) manages to capture the feel of translating an ancient text without sounding portentous and creaky. And even if you’re not planning to follow your life to a warrior’s code, perhaps because you’re not allowed to bring your Mek’leth in the house, at 160 pages, there’s plenty of lore and Klingon history to be enjoyed by fans of Roddenberry’s universe.
Mind you, there are worse species to model your life after. Tribbles, for instance.
Published on 8 May 2014 by Atria Books.