Wilkie Collins – or was it Samuel Goldwyn? – famously said that the best way to keep an audience coming back for more was to ‘Make ‘em laugh, make ‘em cry, make ‘em wait.’
Bob, the reluctant transvestite driver in Blackadder Goes Forth put it even more succinctly: ‘Always leave them hungry.’ If the measure of a television serial’s success lies in the volume of the agonising cry of dismay at the arrival of the closing credits, then The Fades has succeeded beyond all expectations. Even if there wasn’t a huge, Judgement Day-styled cliffhanger at the end of the final episode, viewers would still be baying for a second series.
More of that shortly. Before the final, ohmyfreakingdays ending (which isn’t even the most shocking moment of the episode; that honour belongs to the brutal and utterly unexpected murder of Jay) there’s an hour’s worth of Neil going completely bonkers but ultimately being proved right, Mac confessing his lifelong love for Anna to not very much avail and – of course – the final confrontation between John and Paul.
While Neil kidnaps all of the latter’s family and friends, blowing the head off Jay in the process, Paul tries instead to talk his onetime Angelic mentor and nasty old John into some kind of peaceful solution. ‘Don’t start quoting me back to me,’ Neil rebuffs him.
Paul then returns to his original idea – ‘we have to reopen ascension; it’s the only way to get rid of all the reborn Fades at once’ – and thanks to Sarah (who is unforgivably dumped by Mark after a bit of make-up sex goes wrong when she starts beaming images of all the human flesh she’s eaten into his mind; I mean, what’s wrong with the guy?) manages to evade John long enough to reopen the ash-spewing, ascension portal in the disused shopping centre.
Flapping his angel wings and blasting out his supercharged, multipurpose powers (‘Mac was right – this thing… it does have more than one purpose, like an Angelic Swiss Army knife’) Paul sends all the Fades onward to the next world – except, perhaps John, who we fragments into ravens rather than doves in order to set up a revenge-inspired sequel – while Anna and Mac share a tender moment in a freight container, believing they’re about to cark it.
Not for the first time, these two frequently irritating characters prove to be much more believable and sympathetic when they’re up to their necks in shit. It’s even possible to forgive the clunky exposition when Anna spells out to the audience that they were blindfolded when they were taken to the container and thus have no idea of where they are or what the hell’s going on. It’s a sore-thumb moment in an otherwise wonderful script.
What’s going on, of course, is the end of the world – or something equally ominous. Even though the Fades are gone, things are – as Marcellus Wallace put it – pretty far from okay. ‘I told him,’ Neil moans, huddled in a stairwell as doomy dark clouds swirl overhead, ‘don’t fuck with ascension.’
Meanwhile, Paul, Mac and Anna sit and wait for Armageddon to engulf Watford as (with delicious irony) Jane sings It’s A Fine Day over the closing credits. It’s the end, but that equally delighted and dismayed howling you hear is the audience, desperate for more.
Whether writer Jack Thorne has a second series of The Fades in mind, and whether BBC Three will be commissioning one, remains unclear. However, there’s more than enough appeal in this tale of geeky teenage sex, spectacular swearing and an angelic, Alan Moorish-version of the apocalypse to last another six episodes at least.
We don’t mind laughing or crying, but please – don’t make us wait too long.
Aired at 9pm on Wednesday 26th October 2011 on BBC Three.
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