‘Negative, Mr Worf!’

In the enlightened 24th Century, the hostilities between humans and Klingons have been sorted out, the petty squabbles that dogged Captain Kirk like a malformed toupee all forgiven and forgotten. Captain Jean-Luc Picard even has a Klingon as a trusted lieutenant, whose advice he receives gratefully and always acts upon. Except, of course, he doesn’t … >

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‘Gentlemen… goodnight. Ladies… good morning.’

When ordinary people jump or fall off something, they usually end up either on two feet or in a groaning, seething heap like Peter Griffin when he trips over an unseen obstacle outside his house on Spooner Street. Yet as has you may have noticed, superheroes, aliens, Transformers and Justin Timberlake are different. No matter … >

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‘I’m not going anywhere there – please sit down or leave.’

The Leveson Inquiry into the ethics and behaviour of the press has dominated the headlines for months, and a great deal of information not previously in the public domain has become available as a consequence. However, one thing not previously known about Rebekah Brooks, Rupert Murdoch and Kelvin MacKenzie is their collective talent for delivering … >

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‘I don’t want to be a cliché, but I’m not here to make friends.’

The mantra of the reality television show contestant has been enshrined in stone since the days of Nasty Nick Bateman: ‘I’m not here to make friends.’ Whether they’re doing it for the experience, or hoping to enhance a Z-list media career, one thing participants are resolutely not doing is palling up with anyone else taking … >

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‘Aren’t you a little short for a Storm Trooper?’

Sick of the way George Lucas has tampered so much with the original Star Wars film that the movie you’ve loved for so long is now a barely-recognisable, overly-CGI-ed load of bantha fodder in which Jabba the Hutt makes a silly face and Han doesn’t shoot first? If the answer is no, you’re either one … >

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‘Floppy drives are cool…’

Turning the Doctor Who theme into an epic guitar workout is one thing; playing it on eight computer floppy disk drives is a work of insane genius so frighteningly impressive that the maker of this video will probably one day either save the world from destruction or blow it up himself. It’s probably best to … >

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‘I never joke about my work, 007.’

Throughout his long and multi-countenanced career at MI6, James Bond has worked for several different Ms and flirted with a variety of different Miss Moneypennys. Yet despite the best pleas to the contrary from quartermasters Peter Burton, Alec McGowen and John Cleese, there has only ever been one true Q – and that’s the irascible, … >

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‘I like speed metal now. Speed metal is cool.’

Heavy metal guitarists are frequently prone to bouts of what has been accurately dubbed as ‘fretboard wankery’ and oddly enough, this unique kind of Fender-bending sometimes finds itself entangled with the world of cult telly. While Brian May’s Star Fleet Project is a prime example of what can happen when such a crossover goes hideously … >

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‘I’m about to get incredibly high.’

Professor Brian Cox’s Wonders… series are among the most fascinating and accessible science programmes the BBC has ever produced, showcasing the astounding beauty and awe-inspiring marvels of life, the universe and everything. However, there are no cows too sacred for YouTube uploaders to slaughter – and here, the onetime D:Ream keyboardist is recast as an … >

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