William Shatner’s recent stint in the host’s chair on Have I Got News for You was not his first appearance in a British TV production. Back in the 1990s, he and James Doohan – Scotty – were seduced by the corporate dollar of the company that had earlier ensnared Peter Purves for advertising purposes: National … >
This Friday marks the long-awaited release of Men in Black 3. In honour of this momentous occasion, we bring you the Top 5 time travel movies of, well… all time.
In the enlightened 24th Century, the hostilities between humans and Klingons have been sorted out, the petty squabbles that dogged Captain Kirk like a malformed toupee all forgiven and forgotten. Captain Jean-Luc Picard even has a Klingon as a trusted lieutenant, whose advice he receives gratefully and always acts upon. Except, of course, he doesn’t … >
Connoisseurs of William Shatner’s musical career – or the sonically-challenged, as they’re technically known – may well argue over the respective merits of his emotive, spoken-word interpretations of ‘How to Handle a Woman’, ‘Rocket Man’ and ‘Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds’ without ever coming to any conclusions as to which is the best. One … >
To whittle down the ensemble of characters in Battlestar Galactica is to almost actively engage in masochism, as each character is believable and, in their own way, relatable.
Even if you’re not a fan of Star Trek: The Next Generation – or, perhaps, particularly if you’re not – you have to admire the lengths to which the cast of the show have gone to lampoon their former characters, send up the pompousness of the franchise, and generally make tits of themselves in the … >
The year is 1999. American astronaut John Crichton (Ben Browder) is accidentally pulled into a wormhole and thrust into a distant corner of the universe.
‘In all our future meetings, I would know him more and he would know me less…’
To assuage the bewilderment of those who had struggled to follow the cockeyed chronology of the great love affair between Professor River ‘Melody Pond’ Song and Doctor Doctor ‘Doctor’ Who, BBC Three’s late, lamented Doctor Who Confidential put together a timeline, narrated by Alex Kingston, of the River Song story from beginning to end.
Or is it end to beginning? Either way, it clears up any confusion and proves that it does all make sense after all. No, honestly, it does…
‘He’s a useless shite, that boy. Punish him for me, Errol.’
Brick Top from Snatch dons the helmet and mask and joins the Galactic Empire under the name ‘Darth Vader’. Essential viewing for all fans of potty-mouthed cockney gangsters ringing up Grand Moff Tarkin to call the governor a ‘see-you-next-Tuesday’…
‘What the hell is this?’
Annie settles down with George and Mitchell to watch an unmarked DVD that somebody has sent her. It turns out to be something so hideous that even the supernatural flatmates are freaked out… and not only because it’s inexplicably soundtracked by Flo Rida…
‘Can I do this – or do I look like some sort of gay superhero?’
More vaguely amusing visual juxtaposition as Captain Picard is surprised during a meeting of high-level staff on the Starship Enterprise by some surprisingly candid video footage of himself. The smirk on Commander Riker’s face as he says, ‘I wish I’d known that Jean-Luc Picard,’ is a priceless moment of inappropriate perviness…
‘Through cosmic wastes the TARDIS flies, to taste the secret source of life…’
The idea of Matt Smith releasing a version of the Doctor Who theme tune with quasi-spiritual lyrics about listening to metallic teeth beginning to grind is either the stuff of nightmares or a hitherto un-thought-of marketing manager’s wet dream.
Either way, it’s as unlikely in 2012 as it was run-of-the-mill in the 1970s, a decade when the idea of a TV star releasing an ‘in character’ song was par for the course – if you don’t believe us, check out John Inman singing ‘Are You Being Served, Sir?’
But first, listen to Jon Pertwee getting all mystical in his (tragically uncharting) 1972 single, ‘Who is the Doctor?’…
‘This car’s a sod to drive at the moment…’
But before anyone starts thinking Pertwee was a grandiloquent old git, here he is on the set of The Five Doctors, struggling to get to grips with vintage roadster Bessie and swearing like a fishwife with a stubbed toe…
From Charlie’s Angels director McG, new action comedy This Means War is released in UK cinemas on Friday 2nd March.
‘We kick them to the kerb unless they look like Mick Jagger…’ Life on the Starship Enterprise during James T. Kirk’s tenure at the helm was fraught with peril, the intrepid crew confronted by Klingons, Tribbles, dodgy sets, not-very-subtle deployment of stuntmen and an endless parade of redshirted extras being killed.
However, one thing that the captain, Spock, Uhura, Scotty and the rest of the gang knew how to do was how to relax. Here, soundtracked by Ke$ha’s ‘Tik Tok’, they go on a five-year mission to boldly party harder than anyone has partied before…
‘That slimy bugger…’ With the recession biting once again, Cassetteboy’s 2010 Daniel Craig-as-James Bond-sans-moolah cut-‘n’-paste is culturally relevant as ever. The scene where 007 gets hugely pissed and – inevitably – throws up into a sink is a thing of pleasure forever…
‘Get off the road!’ Where the inspiration for this came from, we’re struggling to fathom, but it works surprisingly well: the audio from a trailer for Lord of the Rings dubbed onto footage from the original Transformers TV movie. Optimus Prime as Gandalf is an obvious choice; Wreck-Gar as Gimli is more unexpected, but equally inspired…
‘Have you any idea how much Tiger Balm I’ve gone through every day on this stuff?’ In a frank, no-holds-barred interview, Daniel Radcliffe looks back on the eight Harry Potter movies and makes a stunning admission about his secret, double-life as a wizard, discussing his effect on women, his broom-burn, and the woeful lack of understanding Americans show for British sports…
‘Hahahahaha… what a funny joke…’ The best comedy series of the 1990s – oh yes it is … no, YOU shut up – was The Mary Whitehouse Experience, and it’s a continuing disappointment that rights issues and all manner of wrangles have prevented the television incarnation being released on DVD.
However, thanks to the ever-reliable combination of home taping, VHS-to-PC USB cables and YouTube, much of the series is available for shits and giggles. In ‘The Drinking Experience’, the Terminator struggles to negotiate his way around a pub toilet and Inspector Morse turns up at a crime scene looking rather tired and emotional….