‘The Musketeers’ Season 3 Episode 7 review: ‘Fool’s Gold’

In this episode of The Musketeers, we see desperate people in desperate times doing desperate things.

Ok, so that opening interrogation scene was a little mean, but he was a baddie, so I’ll let it pass.  The Musketeers are after the whereabouts of Grimaud, whom they have discovered to be a very naughty man indeed.  Sylvie tips them off that he may have gone back to his hometown, and the fellas ride off in pursuit.

King Louis is likewise unhappy, and is, as always, utterly clueless about the true motivations of basically anyone around him.  The man is the living, breathing embodiment of the classic panto “IT’S BEHIND YOU!” trope, albeit replacing “IT’S BEHIND YOU!” with “YOU NEED TO STOP TRUSTING THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO TAKE OVER THE COUNTRY, YOU BLOODY GREAT MAN BABY!”  And he’s being super mean to Anne, which, as a faithful Anne-defender, makes me grumpy.

Cut her some slack, man.  Your hair is super cute but you suck hard at being a loving spouse.

Meanwhile, the Musketeers chase a small child into a trap set by some angry women.  Just about everyone in their little village are women (sounds nice) and they’re justifiably distrustful of soldiers, and I did have to keep myself from eyerolling slightly at the “we don’t need no men” rhetoric, which is rarely done very well.  The only boy in the village is Bastien (Harry Melling), who is secretly a deserter trying to recover some stolen gold with his friends.

Elodie (Lily Loveless) is a pregnant lady with a bow and arrow, and officially my favourite character in the whole thing.  She has some lovely moments with Porthos, and kicks enough butt that I would gladly watch a series all about her.  Archers are cool.

Meanwhile, Athos stumbles through a bewildering forest in pursuit of Grimaud, who may or may not be holing up in an old cottage.  Spoiler alert: it was Meera Syal after all, who apparently raised little Grimaud after his mother passed in sad circumstances – tragic backstory alert!  As a wise man on a different TV show once said: cool motive, still murder.

The little Dauphin is just as adorable as ever, but Louis isn’t interested in making Anne regent, just because she slept with someone who was actually nice to her that one time.  Come on, man.  Louis is the king of making poor decisions.

Great news: they thwart the naughty men’s plan and Elodie has a bouncing baby.  And Louis names Anne regent!  Good for you, buddy!  Grimaud’s still who-knows-where, but everything else is fine, so that’s nice.

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Aired at 8.30pm on Saturday 16 July 2016 on BBC One.

> Buy the complete Season 1-2 box set on Amazon.

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> Read more by Sami Kelsh on her website.