Well then. Oh my. This article contains spoilers for World Enough and Time, which in turn contained spoilers for my short-term well-being.

Press 1 if you don’t really know where to start with that.

Press 2 if you’re kinda frustrated that Michelle Gomez as the Doctor was rudely interrupted by the season finale.

Press 3 if you decided to play a drinking game where you drank every time there was a meta-reference and now you’re dead.

Press 4 if you think Bill has really gone through enough already without getting significant chunks shot out of her then waiting for the Doctor in a nightmarish hospital with Khalid’s more down-to-earth cousin only for him to arrive too late because you’ve been seemingly irreversibly converted into one of the original Cybermen. Eh? Didn’t you see Oxygen Moffat? She’s suffered enough you MONSTER.

Press 5 if you are writing fan fiction about the Nick Briggs of Mondas, who was presumably some sort of famous voice-over artist who got the job of being the vocal template for the Cybermen due to his work on a popular science fiction series.

Press 6 if you’re half expecting next week’s pre-credit sequence to begin ‘Hi, I’m Steven Moffat, and none of this is real’.

Press 7 if this ‘Genesis of the Cybermen’ stuff is all very well and good, but if it contradicts Spare Parts then there’ll be fist-shaking aplenty.

Press 8 if you’re wondering if that pre-credits sequence was set on Earth in 1986.

Press 9 if you hope Capaldi regenerates because the Masters are taking the piss out of him for saying ‘Mondasian’ and the burn is too great.

Gleefully mash the * button if the character’s name is ‘Doctor Who’

Furiously mash the # button if the character’s name is ‘The Doctor’