“I’m not a fan of small confined spaces,” protests Dr Soto (Jorge Garcia) as he’s bundled into a small confined space by this week’s villain.

This may call into question the choices he’s made for his area of nerdy expertise – a major, inescapable prison, an’ all – but it’s his expertise that serves as the catalyst for getting this week’s episode kick-started: a pair of SixtyThrees enlist (well, forcibly and violently demand) his knowledge to find their way to the deeper levels of Alcatraz, all the better to find some buried treasure.

Yes, buried treasure. We’ll get back to that in a minute. But we want to concentrate on Soto’s Know-all. Of course, that’s the reason he’s in the show; his expertise serves as a useful get-past-the-exposition shorthand. But his knowledge has been the starting point for the narrative for a few episodes now, as has the fact that he happens to be in exactly the right place at the right time to witness a vital moment / plot point.

We’re not sure for how much longer we can cope with coincidence piled upon contrivance within the script, but this all illuminates something rather more significant: there is one character in this show who has been committing theft on a weekly basis, and he’s never going to be locked up for it. Indeed, the bosses are always handing over the keys and schematics.

Whose show is this anyway? We thought it was supposed to be all about Madsen and her familial connection to the Rock. No doubt that will soon prove to be the case, but in the meantime, she’s still not being allowed to be interesting enough for us to care.

It was probably like this in the early days of The Big Bang Theory. No, wait, we’re going somewhere with this. BBT, clearly a vehicle for Jonny Galecki, still fondly remembered from the days of Roseanne, was probably going to be a show that charted the ups and downs of his relationship with the cute blonde from across the hall, all the while ably supported by a cast of freaks and geeks.

However, somebody had the (mis)fortune to create the character of Sheldon Cooper, and then Jim Parsons, channelling a Yank Kenneth Williams, is in constant danger of stealing the show from under his befuddled specs. Now, the same seems to be happening in Alcatraz, with most of the best material going to Garcia, when it should be owned by Sarah Jones. At least BBT had the decency to wait almost an entire season before letting a supporting character run off with major storylines.

It’s a shame: it’s rare enough that we get a lead character in a crime/thriller show that’s female. Now that we have, is it to much to ask that she be given interesting things to do? Did Clarice Starling teach us nothing?

Meanwhile, a cute twist in this week’s episode is that there’s no cute twist: things are as we’re told they are. While everyone scoffs at the urban legend that there’s gold in them thar cells, Warden James (Jonny Coyne) knows that there is. It colours his motives a little (is he a good guy or a bad guy), and prompts Hauser (Sam Neill) to finally ask the question – is the Warden already here, in the present, looking to tie things up?

Readers of Stephen King’s latest book (also set in the early sixties, and also featuring a doorway to the past/present), may begin to see certain similarities in the mechanics of the sci-fi here.

However, we think we’re closer to solving one major mystery of this series, namely, why we’re not enjoying it nearly as much as we think we should be, and it’s this: the producer is JJ Abrams. It’s not that the show is bad. In fact, it’s pretty good. But when it’s JJ’s name above the door, good ain’t good enough.

Yes, it’s a bizarre argument to make – we’re complaining because the show is merely good – but we feel it’s valid. Witness JJ’s spiritual classmate Joss Whedon, who, even when he’s managing to split audience reaction right down the middle, is never anything less than innovative and inventive (see Dollhouse).

Maybe this show is too afraid of losing its audience, and playing far too safe. We needs a few more risks, and the chance for us to feel genuinely involved in Alcatraz. Time for lights out, and us to be lost in the dark.

Aired at 9pm on Tuesday 1st May 2012 on Watch.

> Order the Season 1 boxset on Amazon.

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