Things are hotting up in the world of Parisian politics as The Musketeers go looking for shiny things this week.
The Queen of England (Olivia Poulet) has been robbed by a mysterious and dangerous highwayman on her visit to France – though Aramis quite rightly wants to know why the heck she was travelling without a proper security detail, which is surely one of the chapters covered in Being The Queen Of Somewhere 101.
Nonetheless, this lands her in some dire straits indeed, having come seeking the help of her brother Louis in keeping Cromwell and his chums from taking over her country.
The Musketeers run into the insufferable Emile Bonnaire (the lovely James Callis), who does rather a bad job of hiding from them if he must insist on wearing such a show-off-y shade of blue. Really, dude. Turns out he was the chap who made off with the royal valuables, some of which were sold to a lady who, of all things, braided the diamonds onto her horse’s tail. There’s no accounting for taste, I suppose.
I’d forgotten Paul McGann was in this!
Turns out he’s the gentleman of the lovely Pauline, who in turn is a very old friend of Aramis. While the other three track down the remaining diamonds, Aramis takes the opportunity to reconnect with Pauline, who confides that she is being blackmailed for her past as a prostitute – which, considering what a classy gentleman her husband seems to be, she might be keen to keep quiet about it.
Meanwhile, Feron is tasked with keeping the Queen’s financier occupied while the fellas track down her diamonds – but he wouldn’t be a villain if he didn’t have his own ends to consider in doing so.
Pauline’s blackmailer is, Aramis discovers, a particularly unpleasant stable boy – but oh no! That diamond ring St. Pierre’s giving to Pauline is none other than Queenie’s, and he’s rather hesitant to part with it. And Pauline’s done a murder! Everything’s gone a bit wrong!
And Bonnaire was in cahoots with Queenie’s lady in waiting all along! The English war is financed and all is well.
Except for the continuing machinations of the sinister Grimaud, and Feron’s audacious plans. The plot thickens like a big bowl of wobbly Angel Delight. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s decidedly strawberry.
Aired at 8.30pm on Saturday 25 June 2016 on BBC One.
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