‘I find a semi in Kent…’

It’s very easy to get a cheap laugh out of an episode of Homes Under The Hammer re-edited to make it seem like a smut-filled barrel of pornuendo. A bit too easy, some might say, but that’s no reason not to look at Martin Roberts and Lucy Alexander prowling around houses, talking dirty.

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‘I don’t want to be a cliché, but I’m not here to make friends.’

The mantra of the reality television show contestant has been enshrined in stone since the days of Nasty Nick Bateman: ‘I’m not here to make friends.’ Whether they’re doing it for the experience, or hoping to enhance a Z-list media career, one thing participants are resolutely not doing is palling up with anyone else taking … >

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