Despite what we’ve seen in CultBoxed previously, the true nadir of Doctor Who-related pop songs didn’t come in the Sixties or Seventies; it was in 1985 – during the programme’s first cancellation crisis – that the worst came to the worst.

Along with such luminaries as David Van Day, Hazell Dean, Jona Lewie and the cast of Starlight Express, TARDIS regulars Colin Baker and Nicola Bryant tried and failed to polish a dreadful sow’s ear of a song named ‘Doctor in Distress’ which failed to chart, failed to bring back the show and succeeded only in proving that quasi-Stock, Aitken and Waterman Hi-NRG disco and a screechy list of Doctor Who tropes go together like peaches and crime.

The retrospective verdict of co-composer and instigator Ian Levine? ‘An absolute balls-up fiasco. It was pathetic, bad and stupid.’ Clue: he’s right…