You guys, just a heads up: the preview version had the final scene edited off but I think it looked like popular character actress Jodie Whittaker is the new Doctor, which is really exciting but you should probably stay off forums and Ian Levine’s Twitter feed for a few decades.
There are spoilers below for Twice Upon a Time by the way, and also none of this will make sense if you haven’t watched it.
Press 1 if you think that, if only children can hear it, the Doctor’s name must be really high-pitched.
Press 2 if your head canon is that not only was that the Brigadier’s Dad, but the German soldier’s surname was Klein.
Press 3 if you fully expect Big Finish to be on the phone to the entire cast of that episode enquiring about their near future availability.
Press 4 if your relatives had the faintest clue what was going on.
Press 5 if you reckon one of the roundels has got Susan’s poppers behind them.
Press 6 if you reckon Steven Moffat only wrote that because he had a lot of copies of The Tenth Planet he wants to shift on Ebay.
Press 7 if you will miss Steven Moffat, even if it’s because you’ll miss wondering what unnecessary gag he’d upset Twitter with this week.
Press 8 if you were surprised that, of all the dangling plot lines from the Moffat era to be resolved, it was ‘Whatever happened to the radge Dalek from Series 8?’ that got answered.
Press 9 if you’ve enjoyed a slice of frozen thyme because when you buy fresh thyme for a recipe there’s always loads left that’ll just go off in the fridge unless you chop the rest of the thyme up when it’s still fresh then add it and water to ice cube trays, because that way you can use the whole bag and not only does it minimise waste but you can say ‘release the thyme cube’ like you’re an overconfident Eighties villain.
Furiously mash the # button if your main reaction was: so, hang on, are Bill and Nardole totally dead now? And Clara too? Did Moffat just sneakily kill all the companions in his final episode? YOU MONSTER.
Gleefully mash the * button if your main reaction was: so, hang on, was that the first time the word ‘nipples’ has been said in Doctor Who?