There’s no escape this week. None whatsoever. And if you’ve followed The Returned this far, chances are you’re stuck too, just like us – unable to leave this show until you get to the bottom of what’s going on. Well, get comfy friends, because if writer Fabrice Gobert gets his wish we’re probably going to be here a couple of years yet.

Fans of French drama will be aware that there’s not been a great deal of sex in The Returned – far less than in your usual Gallic goings on – but that’s changed this week.

New Year’s Eve. Always a letdown. But this December 31st, whether you’re having every atom of your privacy invaded in a club so packed that it resembles a box of sweaty styrofoam peanuts, or you’re sat at home with a sherry, waiting to salute the clock at midnight, think on this: it could be worse. You could be in an underpass, caving in your cannibalistic brother’s head with a crowbar as he tries to eat Catwoman’s pancreas. ‘Should auld acquaintance be forgot’?. Ideally, yes.

If you turned Episode 4 of The Returned into a drinking game, with the rule of having a shot every time someone discovered a secret, then by the time the credits rolled you’d be lying unconscious on the floor, being eaten by your cats Mme Payet style.