Rewind: ‘Farscape’ revisited
The year is 1999. American astronaut John Crichton (Ben Browder) is accidentally pulled into a wormhole and thrust into a distant corner of the universe.
The year is 1999. American astronaut John Crichton (Ben Browder) is accidentally pulled into a wormhole and thrust into a distant corner of the universe.
Following his mind-spangling reworking of The Five Doctors, Farmergeddon71’s subsequent slice of inspired Doctor Who remix lunacy involves Leslie Nielsen, Sarah Jane Smith, Darth Vader, two incarnations of the Master and Kylie Minogue. Oh, and Peter Davison looking medically relaxed throughout. If that’s not enough, Flight of the Darned also includes an animated Alpha Centauri … >
Actor Andrew Brooke, star of E4 comedy PhoneShop, will be appearing in Doctor Who‘s new series.
*Sound of jaw hitting floor*
YouTube is full of incredible clips, of course – if it was all people getting angry at the haters, showing off their booties and being hit on the head by pictures of themselves falling over, it’d be hellish – but it’s not every day that you happen upon a video that’s so amazing it makes your brain hurt trying to imagine how (or indeed why) anyone came up with it. This is something so genuinely awesome in every sense of this overused word that we’re happy beyond measure that it fits into CultBoxed’s remit. And even if it wasn’t, we’d have shared it anyway, simply because it’s so bloody marvellous.
You want to see miniature remote-control helicopters playing the James Bond theme? Prepare to have your synapses destroyed by wonder…
‘F*** me, the TARDIS!’
Following the success of a similar dodge used to turn a montage of clips from Doctor Who’s tenth anniversary story The Three Doctors into something filthily hilarious, another intrepid manipulator of bleeping noises has compiled a supposedly-sanitised version of twentieth birthday epic, The Five Doctors. Even the law of diminishing returns doesn’t prevent this video containing plenty of choice LOLs…
‘It’s no good… this isn’t going to work…’
Proving that there are no lengths to which fans won’t go in order to do what the real world will never do and combine their favourite franchises, this is a frequently-inspired, sometimes iffy collision of Star Wars and Doctor Who, glued together by clever video editing and – in some places – a suspension of disbelief so enormous you could hang it over the Firth of Forth and use it as a bridge…
‘We should go to the main control room.’
Anyone who has ever played a video game knows the frustrations of it. You can be as accurate in your shooting, as wary in your sneaking and as bloodthirsty in your over-indulgent pummelling of corpses as you like, but something still goes wrong – not because of you, but because of the limitations of the game itself.
If you’ve ever felt the first-person-shooter pain of inadvertently blowing the head off the character you’re supposed to be saving because THE STUPID TOSSER HAS WALKED IN FRONT OF YOUR GUN AGAIN or screeched profanities at the screen because a tiny glitch in the graphics has left the level impossible to complete, this brilliant recreation of GoldenEye is for you…
‘I’ve never met anyone as clumsy as you…’
Blue Peter in 2012 is as slickly-produced and smoothly-run piece of television as kids could ever hope to watch, but it wasn’t always so. As recently as 1989, it was still entirely possible for things to go hideously pear-shaped, mid-show – particularly if one of the presenters wasn’t entirely au fait with making things, leaning on things, sitting down or driving miniature steam-powered traction engines across the studio floor.
Mark Curry managed to mess all these things up and more during his time on the programme, but he made up for his tendency towards calamity with great charm and innate likeability. However, this didn’t stop his fellow presenters compiling a blooper reel of supreme hilarity to commemorate his departure and have a giggle at his expense. If you don’t laugh at the sequence with the man made from Lego, you have no soul.
‘In all our future meetings, I would know him more and he would know me less…’
To assuage the bewilderment of those who had struggled to follow the cockeyed chronology of the great love affair between Professor River ‘Melody Pond’ Song and Doctor Doctor ‘Doctor’ Who, BBC Three’s late, lamented Doctor Who Confidential put together a timeline, narrated by Alex Kingston, of the River Song story from beginning to end.
Or is it end to beginning? Either way, it clears up any confusion and proves that it does all make sense after all. No, honestly, it does…
‘He’s a useless shite, that boy. Punish him for me, Errol.’
Brick Top from Snatch dons the helmet and mask and joins the Galactic Empire under the name ‘Darth Vader’. Essential viewing for all fans of potty-mouthed cockney gangsters ringing up Grand Moff Tarkin to call the governor a ‘see-you-next-Tuesday’…
‘What the hell is this?’
Annie settles down with George and Mitchell to watch an unmarked DVD that somebody has sent her. It turns out to be something so hideous that even the supernatural flatmates are freaked out… and not only because it’s inexplicably soundtracked by Flo Rida…
‘Can I do this – or do I look like some sort of gay superhero?’
More vaguely amusing visual juxtaposition as Captain Picard is surprised during a meeting of high-level staff on the Starship Enterprise by some surprisingly candid video footage of himself. The smirk on Commander Riker’s face as he says, ‘I wish I’d known that Jean-Luc Picard,’ is a priceless moment of inappropriate perviness…
‘Through cosmic wastes the TARDIS flies, to taste the secret source of life…’
The idea of Matt Smith releasing a version of the Doctor Who theme tune with quasi-spiritual lyrics about listening to metallic teeth beginning to grind is either the stuff of nightmares or a hitherto un-thought-of marketing manager’s wet dream.
Either way, it’s as unlikely in 2012 as it was run-of-the-mill in the 1970s, a decade when the idea of a TV star releasing an ‘in character’ song was par for the course – if you don’t believe us, check out John Inman singing ‘Are You Being Served, Sir?’
But first, listen to Jon Pertwee getting all mystical in his (tragically uncharting) 1972 single, ‘Who is the Doctor?’…
‘This car’s a sod to drive at the moment…’
But before anyone starts thinking Pertwee was a grandiloquent old git, here he is on the set of The Five Doctors, struggling to get to grips with vintage roadster Bessie and swearing like a fishwife with a stubbed toe…
Whether you’re an old fan or new, there’s no denying that seeing Star Wars on the big screen is an event not to be missed – especially when it’s the first Star Wars movie to ever be presented in spectacular 3D. To celebrate the release of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3D, we … >
» ‘The party’s arrived…’ Advertising slots during the Super Bowl are the most highly-prized (and expensive) on American TV. This year, a couple of the companies investing in commercials to be shown during the match between the New England Patriots and the New York Giants have produced ads with a cult theme – including Audi, with this slightly dated but funny Twilight parody.
» ‘Oh, good morning, Dean!’ Memes involving a re-voiced Darth Vader rarely fail to amuse. This week, it’s the turn of Kenneth Williams to don the mask, breathe heavily and ask Imperial commanders about the possibilities of gender realignment.
» ‘I’m coming… all the time…’ If you haven’t experienced Cassetteboy’s cutups of Stephen Fry reading JK Rowling’s Harry Potter novels, you’re missing out. Go and search for them in a couple of minutes – but first, enjoy their riotous video edit, ‘Harry Potter and the X-Rated Trailer’…
» ‘Now please stop buggering me!’ For high-quality Doctor Who mash-up magic, Farmergeddon has been the go-to guy since the days when editing videos together was a matter of hooking up two VCRs and pressing pause at the right time. His take on The Five Doctors is indisputably a work of comedy genius.
» ‘The dog is funnier than the Vader kid.’ Back to Super Bowl XLVI for the last of this week’s selections. Volkswagen’s kid-activates-car-with-the-Force ad became a worldwide hit after airing during the 2011 final, and this year, the full-length version of the company’s game day promo contains a coda set in a familiar cantina….
» ‘You’re a beautiful woman… probably.’ Every Doctor Who story from An Unearthly Child in 1963 to last Christmas’s The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe, crammed into ten minutes of Eurythmics-remix-soundtracked glory by the legendary BabelColour…
» ‘Oh, how I’ve missed you, Holmes…’ The trailer for Sherlock Holmes: Book of Shadows re-cut to feature Basil, the Great Mouse Detective and his loyal sidekick, Dawson…
» ‘Your momma’s going on a date…’ When Darth Vader had a nervous breakdown, Akjak was there to capture the full, hilarious extent of his mental collapse…
» ‘What in the name of…?’ Anything involving Nyan Cat is like digital nicotine to us, but how did Captain Kirk and the crew of the USS Enterprise respond to the rainbow-crapping pop tart kitty that pretty much owned the internet in 2011?
» ‘Holy f@#*! What’s that?’ Doctor Who’s tenth anniversary story in 1973 had to be edited for transmission because it was simply too sweary for the kids – or it did if you believe TheTerryThomas…
To celebrate the release of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3D, which arrives in cinemas February 9th, we are giving away two pairs of tickets to an exclusive advance screening on Wednesday 8th February in London! For a chance to win, just follow CultBox on Twitter and tweet the following text: Win #StarWars3DScreeningTickets … >
So the long- rumoured Star Wars TV series, while still no closer to production, is still being developed and now even has a title; Star Wars: Underworld.